Samisms – more crazy talk from Sam

Sam – Age 3, part 2

Again, I have to give my wife most of the credit for these – she wrote them down.  I get to take some credit because I helped teach him to talk.  Plus, DNA has to have some influence…

For more, see my previous post: http://peterbarto.wordpress.com/2010/11/10/samisms-the-crazy-stuff-that-came-out-of-sams-mouth/

“It is shiny morning time”

CousCo (CousCous)

Dinasaurus Rex (Tyranysaraurus Rex)

Make Noise and don’t open any doors (after months of Natalie saying at Bedtime –make noise, check on me and don’t open any doors)

On Sunday…(the day that never comes. When he wants to do or have something he knows he won’t get, he says, “Can I have it on Sunday”. My answer is always yes, and then that is the end of it). He never quite realizes that Sunday does come once a week. We could be in trouble soon!!!

I help ants go free. That’s my job.

Look at the ants, they’re adorable!

Sitting on the disgusting couch at PV mall, he says “this couch is beautiful”

I want a frog, a snail, and a bird in a cage … on Sunday.

Limp (Blimp)

I spy with my little eye, something….airplane!!! “Is it an airplane, Sammy?” Yes!!!

Old Hot-donald had a chicken nugget

Oh, Picks (short for pickles, when he is in a rush!)

Mommy I have broken teeth. (his front tooth is chipped). I need new teeth at the teeth store.

Keep Me Comp-ny.

Mommy, I want you.

I’m mak-ed (naked)

Babing suit

Mctober Fronteenth (October 13th,when his bday is)

Wait, wait mommy. Wait. – waving arms, trying to plead his case (when he is facing a consequence)

Can we have chicken bones for dinner? –he likes chicken drumsticks!!

Sammy was standing by Peter’s sink. I wasn’t really paying attention to him. When Peter walked in Sammy guiltily ran over to my sink with his hands behind his back and said, “Nothing…” before a probing question could even be asked.

“Snow train” – Peter took a picture of the train in Durango and with the sun and the smoke, it made it look rather white, which it definitely is not. Sammy called it his snow train and insisted Peter print him out a few copies which he carried around for days. This was in the middle of the summer.

Sammy, can you pick up that toy? He says, “el zippo” meaning no. Sammy, what does el zippo mean? “hamma nontana says el zippo”

“Why do we have ears?”  I said God gave us ears to hear. Sammy replied, “And he gave us hands to cover up our ears when the train is too loud”

“Leo has ‘my butt, my head, my butt, my head the movie” (The movie is really called Everyone’s Hero)

After Sammy got a spanking for running across a very busy street without permission he said “I see a lizard crossing the street without his mommy’s mission”

The sky is leaking (rain)

Is the table guy here? (cable)

Mommy, will you give me you? (wants me to sit with him)

When I was your age, mommy…

When I was Morgan’s age…

What time is it, Sammy? “It’s time o’clock”

Natalie spilled something on the floor and sammy cleaned it up. I thanked him for doing that and he said, “That’s what friends are for”.

The kids wanted to go to the zoo, not happening in the summer. Sammy was trying to think of the season we could go and he said, “we could go when that stuff is falling to eat and you stick out your tongue.” Natalie said, “Snowflakes!” Yes, Sammy, we can go in the winter!!

Can we watch that mommy show, ‘Kim and Aggie’?

I want to send a Halloween card to Leo for his birthday because he likes that.  And I want to send a batman card to me!

While holding out his hand as in “talk to the hand” he said ‘Talk to the sparkles, Nico’ (one of our former foster sons)

Whenever he opens mail he reads, “Dear Leo, your invited in my party”

With a big stick from the yard, he goes into my closet and uses the stick to press the ON button for the house alarm

Mommy, look at me playing basket ball. I look over to find him BOUNCING a cantelope.

Vivie and Livie rhyme (we were talking about grandma vivie)

Gently and Bentley rhyme (when I ask him to touch Nicholas gently)

This little piggie had ‘mosbey’ (roastbeef)

While eating a huge bowl of trader joe’s new multi grain chips he was humming twinkle twinkle little star. Each time he would get a chip he would say, “Do you want to listen? This chip is about…” then proceed to hum it in the style of what the chip was about…dinosaurs, scorpions, doors, sticks, refrigerator, crickets.

What’s the baby’s name, Sammy? “His first name is Nick. His last name is Olas” (When Nicholas was with us.)

‘Have fun in there!” to each piece of clothing as he puts them in the washing machine.

“THIS IS LOUD! And this is soft, when you are sad because Leo isn’t your best buddy boy anymore. But I’m happy!”

While waiting for the trash truck to come he said, “if I abracadabra him (while making the universal sign, waving his finger, for abracadabra) that will poof him into our neighborhood. That’s called magic.”

While holding a strainer with a wooden handle, “Momma, can you open the door so I can catch a butterfly when the wind stops on Sunday?”

“Big fish, momma! I caught a big fish!” he says while wrestling Nico to the floor.

“Is this jail?” as he walks past a store with the gate/bars closed in front of it.

Morgan left his water bottle on the bus. Sammy said, “When I get a loosen tooth I will go on the bus and look for Morgan’s water bottle. I will look this way (to the right) and this way (to the left).” He thinks you when your teeth start to fall off you get to ride the bus and go to Kindergarten, like Morgan.

Upon seeing his buddy Chase when I brought Chase to pick Sammy up at school, he yells, “Hey Chase, remember when we made butt prints???!!??” One warm summer day after playing in the sprinkler they slid across the sidewalk and proudly made butt prints. We then went to Costco and the 2 boys shouted BUTT PRINTS through the entire store and just laughed hysterically. At least 1 old man was amused and said there isn’t any better sound. I have to agree!

Comment as you like …any favorites … what did your kids say?  Come back for more…

Friday Morning Breakfast

One of the best pieces of parenting advice that I’ve received is to spend devoted and ongoing time with each of my kids, advice that I didn’t follow – until recently.  For the past 3 months I have been taking my kids out to breakfast on Friday morning, rotating each week with a different child.

When I began I had a few ideas about what I would want to cover and catch up on: who they are spending time with at school or if there anything they want to say to me without fear of recrimination (e.g. is there anything I am doing that is driving them nuts like the way I discipline them or talk to them).  I also wanted to use that time reminding them of the things that are important to me: the truisms that I hold dear like how we should treat other people.

After a few rotations it hit me that these are the moments that will have the greatest impact on my kids’ lives and behaviors.  Granted, it’s one thing to tell your kids how to act, it’s another to act that way so they see it lived out.  So as I discuss the truisms that are important to me, it’s a time to reflect about if that is really true in my life.  I often think that one of the greatest mistakes a parent will make is believing that there will be these watershed moments that will shape our kids.  But that’s not how it works. The Grand Canyon wasn’t formed in a single onrush of water, it was formed over countless years or constant erosion taking innumerable flows of water from the Colorado river.

It’s the same with our kids.  The constant example that we set, not just our words and reminders, are what shape our kids.  And it takes a lot of time to get those messages across.  I get a kick out of parents who are surprised when their kids do something stupid.  They say, “I’ve told them that a thousand times…” but it obviously hasn’t stuck yet.  I do that.  I do that a lot!!  I would love nothing more than for my kids to believe the same things I believe and become a better version of me than I am – just because I told them to.  Take religion as an example.  We take our kids to church, we tell them what we believe, we show them how those beliefs shape our actions, but I can’t demand my kids believe the same things about God that I do.  I hope someday that they will see for themselves the truth that we have encountered, that it’s held true in our life and gave life a richness that only comes from knowing God.  But the reality is they will have to come to those conclusions on their own.

So, I love my Friday mornings!  It is one of  the small moments that will make the big impact on my kids.  The chance to be purposeful and frame a conversation with my kids that will last our lifetime.

Samisms – the crazy stuff that came out of Sam’s mouth

I have to give my wife most of the credit for these – she wrote them down.  I get to take some credit because I helped teach him to talk.  Plus, DNA has to have some influence…

This is a small peak into how our young Sam saw the world at 3 years old.  Occasionally you will have to insert a slow whiny voice or a loud animated voice to get the full effect.

Sam – Age 3, part 1

Nan-o-lie

Nat-o-lie

Hot-donalds (McDonald’s) then Old McDonalds (3 ½ ) then New Old McDonalds (3 ¾ ) when we found a newly renovated really fun McDonald’s

Na-na you can’t get me (with fingers waving in ears)

I burted (burped)

Abracadabra-make you in jail

Town depot (Home Depot)

Driving up to the McDowell Aquatics center, or anyplace we haven’t seen for a while “mommy, you and me and Morgan and Natolie we live there!!!”

Hop Grasser (grass hopper)

Go-go-go-go (go Diego go)

Why we do this? (how do we do this?)

The thunder is laughing at me. I don’t like thunder to laugh at me. (when it is thundering outside)

Natolie – you share with Morgan’s brother!!!!

You crack me nuts!!! (the combo of “You crack me up” and “You drive me nuts”)

Upon seeing the empty nativity scene at church….  No Aminals, no camels, no fair!!!!

Aminals (animals)

N-O says NO

Clippard the big red dog

I belong to you and I belong to daddy and I never go to jail and I never get lost in a cave.

Can we Borrow Adam to our house? (can he come over to play?)/ Can Max Regan borrow us? (Can we go to his house to play)

Oh, Pickles! (complete with the hand motions too)

Will you Cuddle me?

Will you keep me comp-ny? (company)

Upon arriving to Bounce U he says “Natolie and Joey live there!” He remembered Peter dropping Natalie off for Joey’s party.

He calls Bounce U “Bounce Me”

“May I please have some gum? Over.” (he likes to say OVER at the end of a statement or question, like on the walkie-talkiea)

BuggaBum (bubble gum)

“I eat your spankings” upon getting a slap on the hand, he says this and then proceeds to lick it off. Perhaps the funniest thing ever.

“Inch turtles” teenage mutant ninja turtles/ Minja turtles about 6 months later

Rolling chickens –the rotisserie chickens at Costco

Comment as you like …any favorites … what did your kids say?  Come back for more.

Brother and Sister, Old and New

This is a photo of my sister and I in 1974, I think my parents staged this…

 

Here is Natalie and Sam in 2009, I didn’t stage this but made them do it again until I got a good photo…

Desert Photos

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Saint Barto

I am an admittedly lousy blogger.  You can look at my blog and it’s easy to see.  I haven’t figured out photos, colors, etc.  I tried to edit my profile a few weeks ago and it took me hours to find the right place in the WordPress  zone (not WordPress’s fault – it was right  under my nose).  As well, I don’t read a lot of blogs.  But I have found one blog that has captured my attention – Foster Parent Journey. It’s the story about a couple – Foster Mom and Foster Dad – as first time parents to a young foster daughter.

They had a great blog today.  Well, it wasn’t great like it made you think or let you see something for the first time.  It didn’t share new insights into mundane things that we pass by everyday.  Not that kind of great.  Instead, it was great because it spoke to the human condition.  Foster Mom shared “4 Secrets about My Role as a Foster Mom.”  It was gritty and transparent, raw and human.  She was struggling and exhaling online.  It was a little painful to read.

Her #2 secret was “I appreciate your nice words but I’m not a saint… not even close.”  Funny, I thought, I get that too.  I guess people don’t know how else to summarize taking in another parent’s child.  But it’s kind of a conversation stopper.

Later on in the day I was at football practice with my 2 boys and our 11 month old foster daughter.  One of the other dads was ogling over her.  I don’t like to bring up being a foster dad as it’s kind of like spurting out that you’re an ER doc and you brought 3 people back to life at work….  However, when someone starts to ask me questions about the child they assume to be mine and I don’t have all the answers, foster care comes up.  After a few exchanges he summarizes that my wife and I are saints.  And I don’t have a good recovery.  Because we are not.

We’ve had tough times brought on through foster care – and we will have tough times ahead.  But in many ways what we are doing right now is easy – our baby girl is easy, we already have kids and are used to life with kids.  I can change a diaper in my sleep (and in the dark).  Okay, I really can’t do either of those but I bet my wife can.  As well, we typically get babies and specify no younger than 3 months because

1) their personalities are appearing

2) they almost sleep through the night

3) they stay where you put them

We’re on the list for older kids but it just hasn’t worked out like that.  When/if she leaves us, it will be hard, very hard.  (See my Nov 1 post.)

We are not saints and I wish I had a good way to explain that I have more fun being a dad – to anyone’s child, doesn’t matter whose it is!  It’s not about doing something good, although it is.  And while I hear it a lot, I was a little surprised that this guy said it after he spent 2 hours flirting with our precious baby.  Who wouldn’t want to take care of her?

One more observation.  If our foster kids have any features that match my wife’s or mine, people comment that he or she looks just like us.  Our little girl has dark curly hair and people tell me she looks just like me.  I know it’s sincere because my bio-kids don’t look anything like me and my mom is the only person who’s ever said they did.  We aren’t the same ethnicity or even the same race.  It doesn’t matter though, because when people see us together they see a dad loving a daughter loving a dad.  If that’s what a saint is, then most every dad in the world is also a saint.

Miss You

Yesterday, a friend of ours said good bye to their foster daughter.  She was abandoned at the hospital at birth and, up until last night, knew only one family.  Some people need to ask,

“How long was she with them?”

like less time means less pain.  It doesn’t.  But since you’re curious, 1 year.  We’ve had our current placement for 6 months (who I can now hear is awake, squeaking in her crib for a morning escape).  She’s 11 months old and I am her favorite person in the world (except for Mrs. Barto…).  It didn’t take long to realize she was going to rip my heart out when she leaves.

Babies are easy but they are also tough.  They are easier than older kids to mesh into your family, usually easier to care for, but they are hard to say goodbye to.  No matter how long, you’ve already fallen in love.  (There was 1 exception, a 4 day old who cried all the time.  When CPS determined that her home situation was not as bad as they thought 4 days later - we thought they were making the right decision.)

The bottom line is it’s hard to say good bye.

David and Erin, sorry about your loss.  Thank you for loving that precious little girl.  I am praying for you and the kids.

There are 2 guarantees in foster care – it is painful when they leave, it is rewarding when they are with you.

The rewards do outweigh the pain.

Why I am a Foster Dad – Part 4

Family Matters asked me to blog about foster care.  Below is an excerpt sharing some tools, resources and goals for foster parents, the entire blog will be posted on Friday (11/5) here: http://blog.familymatters.net/2010/11/05/orphan-sunday-tools-resources-goals-for-foster-families-part-iv/.

Part 4 – Tools, Resources, & Goals for Foster Families

It is important to understand what these kids have missed and what they need.  We take for granted a few simple things about childhood.  Imagine the countless hours of face-time healthy babies are given, the innumerable times a baby drops something on the floor only to have it re-appear in his her mother’s hand, the myriad of sounds and expressions exchanged by a baby and a parent.  Kids that are abused, neglected, and abandoned miss out on all of that.

My wife and I have a simple goal as foster parents: that each child in our home, no matter how long they are there, will experience a loving relationship that will stay with them forever.  My vision is that when I end up in eternity and I am strolling along the streets of gold, a stranger will approach me with a strong embrace and say, “You were my foster dad! You are the reason I am here!”